Let me begin by saying that people who have obsessive compulsive tendencies are often mistaken for “control freaks.” While often times we are both O.C.D. and control freaks, the two are not simultaneous, one is definitely different from the other.


You know that feeling when you are wearing boots or another high-back shoe, and your sock starts creeping down at the heel? Part of your heel is exposed to the rough inside of the shoe and part of your heel is still snuggly tucked away inside your sock, but the sock is all twisted and uneven around your heel which makes it unbearable after a while. Eventually you have to stop, take your shoe off, adjust your sock (maybe even change socks), and put your shoe back on. That feeling between the time you realize your sock is creeping down, and the time you get to adjust your sock, is how someone with severe ocd feels all the time. Their mind is constantly running, analyzing, and trying to adjust things around them in order to make them comfortable.


I have never been formerly diagnosed as OCD, and it doesn’t really interfere with my life in terms of me leaving my home, holding a job, or being a good wife, mother, or student. However, most people living with OCD are able to function just fine in the world. “About 1 out of 200 adults have OCD and twice as many have had OCD at 1 point or another in their life.“


I remember thinking to myself as a kid, “I wonder how many people do this?” or, “does everyone do this and just don’t say anything?”. Things like dusting my room every single afternoon when I got home from school from the time I was 6th grade until I was in 9th. When I was little, I had to break off the crust of my pop tart and eat it in proportional lengths on each side of my mouth. If at the end of my pop tart, the crusts were not the same length, I would need to open another package and begin again until it ended evenly. Surprisingly, in 5th grade I met a very best friend (to this day) who did the exact same thing! There are many other things that I have just kind of always done or lived with that I have never really considered out of the norm for me. For instance, I count all the time. When I am sitting, or rocking Lexie, walking/jogging, or driving. But I don’t like to count past 12 and therefore continue back at 1, until I reach 12 again which is when I start at 25. That way I skip all the “-teen” numbers. Don’t ask why, I don’t know why. I think about 13 as I count to twelve, but can’t bring myself to say the number in my head, so I go back to one. Hahaha, that’s really funny when you type it out and read it. I kinda sound like a crazy person.








I have never been able to walk in a parking lot without stepping around all the dark spots, which mean there is or has been gum or some other icky substance there. It never fails that when I pull up to a gas pump there must have been an old redneck man there before me, because there is a big nasty spit spot from where he was dipping… I have always said that one day I would have an invention that when you took your shoes off, it would be like one of those automatic kitty litter things but it would disinfect the bottom of your shoes. This is why we do not wear shoes in the house. The thought of sitting, laying or my daughter playing where essentially someone else’s spit or gum has been makes me nauseous. Seriously. In elementary and middle school, I made sure that on the days we had gym I wore a shirt or jacket with a hood, so I could put the hood out for my head to lay on. (My parent’s probably don’t realize that did these things, now that I think about it..) This was because I couldn’t stand the thought of laying down on the gym floor where everyone had been walking and playing. Don’t teachers realize that is like a health hazzard? All that gross dirt, hair, and bathroom floor grime and then you want us to lay down in it, do push ups on it and then not get to wash our hand until lunch? Makes no sense to me.






Poor J.Tom lives pretty well with all my idiosyncrasies. Usually. I mean, don’t get me wrong, the house can get down right destroyed, like now for instance, and I can live with it. But it isn’t the overall picture that drives me insane, it is all the little things that add up to make me uncomfortable. If he messes up his sock drawer after I have put all the socks in there the way I like them, it must be redone. Towels have to be folded a certain way, dishrags color-coded, my closet organized by shirt type, then color.. his by shirt type and ironed/not ironed. When I smoked, I had to bite the filter 3 times before I could light the cigarette. Certain textures in my mouth totally freak me out (which I think is pretty common) and the sound of cardboard rubbing makes my stomach curl. Just random things.






I haven’t even started on the germ stuff. Maybe it isn’t really OCD. Maybe it is just quirky “preferences.” I don’t really know. But I do know how it feels when things are out of order, it just seems all wrong and it is hard to concentrate, or get to the next step of the day when something else is all wrong. Like that sock in your boot, it just feels all wrong.








I probably don’t need to express how obsessive I can be about germs and gross stuff. It is strange, because when I worked at a daycare, I never minded the throw up, diapers, snot.. it was just what had to be done. But I also got to wear gloves, hold my breath, wash my hands 100 times day, etc. When you sit at a booth in a restaurant, you don’t get to put a plastic liner down on the nasty vinyl seat, or spray lysol on the salt shaker before you touch it. It is not getting sick that I fear, it is just so gross and I can feel the nastiness on my hands before I even touch the shaker or seat..


“The most frequent obsession is the fear of being contaminated – a 2006 comprehensive prospective study of people with OCD found 57.7% experienced this fear. Also common in the study were pathological doubt (56.0%), the need to arrange things in a symmetrical way (47.8%), and aggressive thoughts (45.4%). The study showed that the most common compulsions were checking (68.9%), cleaning (60.1%), and repeated actions (56.3%).“


Do you ever think about all the hands who have touch a gas pump nozzles, picked their nose, or used the bathroom without washing their hands before you touch the ketchup bottle at your favorite burger joint? “In the nationwide poll, conducted from Aug. 19 to Aug. 22 by Harris Interactive, 1,013 adults were interviewed about their hand washing habits. Then observers were sent into public restrooms to see what actually happened. Ninety-one percent of adults claimed in the poll that they washed their hands after using a public restroom. But of the 6,336 adults whose behavior was observed, only 82 percent actually did so.” It is not that I think “oh, no what if I get a disease from touching this bottle of ketchup?!” it is “oh my gosh, would I touch someone else’s snot or poop?!”-the answer here is not no. It is, “are you freaking kidding me? HELL NO!“ These statistics are just specific ones I found to describe my personal feelings towards public places. Most people know the germs are on the food ladle at the buffet, but the nastiness does not keep them from going to a restaurant or enjoying time out with family and friends. I may go, but the thoughts are running through my head most of the time I am there. That, in my mind, should be normal, you wouldn’t voluntarily touch someone else’s bodily excrements so I’d be more than happy walking around with some sort of Hand Sanitizer to make sure my hands are germ-free!


Anyways, I only wrote this because I feel like people (spouses, friends or family) may mistake someone’s obsessiveness for a need to control. Needing to control is like playing a mind game between two people o needing to suppress someone else; however, when someone is OCD, they cannot control the way certain things make them feel, which may result in a breakdown for someone. I do realize I may not really be OCD, because I don’t lock myself in my house and never leave (although I would be just fine with that), but the thoughts are there. Also, certain obsessions can fade and be replaced by new ones.


Everyone has their own “things” that they may or may not can live with. The question is, can the person or people you love and live with, live with your quirky “things,” or the lack there of…

When I am home all day (which is 3-4days a week) the tv in the living room is usually on.  Because of this, I have come to have a love-hate relationship with the television.  As you may know, I believe TV is ridiculously overrated and pretty much poison to our brains.  But I love Biggest Loser, Grey’s Anatomy, and try to never miss my favorite nerds of Big Bang Theory.  Back to my point… I see a lot of commercials.  Some deserve to be burned and their producers fired, but some are hilarious and deserve and Emmy award!  Here are a few of my favorites:

You cannot deny the genius behind the eTrade ads:


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fmw23Ad9aLM&feature=channel
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x0GsNhLt9Ds

These are some local ads from here in Arkansas:
I love their blooper ads and the dad is usually the funniest guy on there.  Coincidentally, (I believe) J.Tom’s parents went to school with Steve Lander and his brother, who originally owned the Lander’s here in Arkansas and said they are really good fellas.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cl8_tLPWdGo&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZydVCIVoetk&feature=related

This Folger’s commercial makes me think of my brother and how I wish he was here for Christmas:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zZnqBL6iYjA

LOVE this commercial from last Holiday season “Talk to the Moose!”:
 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mS_fc5XVjkc

I LOVE this song:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iCal25PxcVw

———-

Just some other randomness for today..
I had to take all the ornaments off our Christmas tree.  “Why?” you may ask. Because it was driving me crazy.  “Why?” you may ask again..  because it looked cluttered.   Yes, cluttered. Have you ever noticed how the tree looks easy, peaceful, and calm when it has nothing but lights on it?  Maybe next year I will put the ornaments back on, but for now I like it with just lights and the star on top.

Also, Lexie ha found her feet, as seen below:

She is awfully cute… and sweet.. and a very happy girl!  We started eating rice cereal this week!  With her being wait for it….  15 pounds It was time to start some solids.  She is much more satisfied now and takes better naps.  Well, sometimes…  But she is happier and he gas issues?  IMPROVED!  I guess it is because her tummy is finally full, the gas doesn’t hurt her as much.  Anyways, so we nurse, then eat about 2oz of cereal, and then take 4-6oz of formula.  Remember that 4 day nursing strike she took around Thanksgiving?  Well, nursing has not been the same since.  She likes to nurse and cuddle in the morning at her first feed, but after that she doesn’t much care about it and won’t nurse much longer than 5-10 minutes if I am lucky.  Naturally, my supply is dwindling and I get basically nothing if I pump.  But I am going to keep going until she stops completely; it’s good for her and especially this time of year when colds are abundant.

She does really well with the spoon, and likes to sit in her Bumbo, as I have mentioned before.  Here is a picture of her in the Bumbo seat:

Getting ready for Daddy’s doctor appointment

And here is another of her laughing, in case your day hasn’t already been made by Her Preciousness (yes, that is her title):

1. First Step
I was an assistant in a couple of classrooms there.  My favorite was the 4 year old classroom.  The days were exhausting a many days I came home feeling helpless and defeated, but mos days were fulfilling.  It is a place for developmentally delayed children, and there are other services for adults.  I worked in the preschool division.  There were some questionable workers there (which I was the first to turn in..), but the overall purpose of the school is a positive one.  For a year I worked one-on-one with a little Hispanic boy who was autistic.  Wow, talk about exhausting but so much fun (usually).  The little bit of Spanish I could speak came into play and I learned a lot of sign language. He was so smart and inquisitive, but SO stubborn.  I could write an entire book on my days working with that boy!  haha

2. Piggly Wiggly

Yes, that’s right.  I actually enjoyed being a cashier, well I don’t know that I enjoyed it so much when I Was doing it at 16 and would rather be with my friends!  haha  I was super fast and really good.  I was the girl that you waited in my line when other registers were open.  =)  I enjoyed getting to know my customers, talking with them and making their day better.  There were only a few times that I did not enjoy it so much… one time a lady cussed me out on a Sunday afternoon (busiest day of the week!) in front of everyone because her stuff did not qualify for the ad’s discount.  My manager took over the situation and I went upstairs and cried.  Why, I don’t know, guess I was embarrassed.  But a super good day was when I got flowers from (what I think was) a homeless man.  It’s a long story…  He had come through my line on a Wednesday; he had long tangly hair and was in filthy clothes and holey shoes.  I don’t remember what he bought, but I remember it was like $3.00 and some change.  He didn’t have enough change, but I always kept money in my apron for cigarettes and a coffee, so I told him not to worry about it and I took the money from my apron and put it in the register.  He never said anything, just nodded and left.  That Saturday I was working the express lane and my back was to the door.  He came from behind and put flowers on my key pad, when I turned around and saw the flowers he was walking out the door, in the same clothes he had on Wednesday.  The old man I was checking out looked at me like I was crazy because I guess he didn’t understand why someone looking like a homeless person would bring me flowers.  Anyways, it made my day!!

Well, today is my 25th birthday, it is also Lady’s 10 week birthday!  She must have known it was Mommy’s birthday because she smiled and laughed all morning long!  And these were the real, great big smiles that you can see all the way through her eyes.  So sweet.

A couple of updates:
At her 2 month checkup Lady was 13pounds, 2 ounces!  And that is with me only supplementing her with a bottle usually 2xs a day!  YAY  And she is 24.75″ long.  The doctor said she is going to be a tall girl, much taller than me (thank goodness).  Looks like she will take after her Daddy.  She said that Lexie is the size of the average 5 month old, but that is okay because she was 9 pounds when she was born.  Also, she is in the 95th percentile for her weight and off the growth chart for her length!!  So she is the right weight for her height… or length I guess, since she isn’t standing up yet.

Like I mentioned before she has started smiling a LOT more.  Every morning when I go to get her out of her crib, I talk to her and tell her good morning before I un-swaddle her and she just smiles soooo big!  It is the sweetest thing ever.  I never knew just how much I would enjoy getting up at 5:30 and 6:30 in the morning.  =)  Oh, speaking of that, she has been sleeping through the night since 4 weeks (KNOCK ON WOOD!!!!!!!!!!).  Usually she is down by 8:30 and doesn’t wake until anywhere from 530-700am!  We have truly been blessed with a good baby (God just knows how much I need my sleep.  Starve me, work me to death, but don’t take away my sleep!)

She still has problems with gas, but the doctor also said that should start easing up.  She also mentioned that I never really had a fighting chance of producing enough milk for Lexie, because she was so big at birth and because she has been so demanding from the start.  She said I could nurse all day and it will wouldn’t be enough to satisfy her, which is true, I have tried that a couple of time…  =/

We have scheduled an appointment on Dec 4th for some family pictures and Lexie pictures!  I cannot wait.  They will be great, I hope.  So you know what that means?  TIME TO GO SHOPPING!!!!!!!!!!  Lexie needs some new cute clothes for her pictures!  =)

• 5:30 am- woke up, baby ready to eat
• 5:45- change diaper and nurse
• 6:15- We fall asleep in the big chair
• 9:00- We wake up, time to eat again.  turn on Regis and Kelly
• 9:02- nurse
• 9:45- make coffee and toast whole wheat english muffin
• 9:48- put Baby in pack n play to watch her turtles (mobile) and I play on computer/drink my coffee
• 10:00-10:15 Put Baby on the Yoga mat with her wrist rattles and we played
• 10:15-11:00- Baby played in the bouncer while I shaved my legs and cleaned up the bathroom.
• 11:05- turned on Rachael Ray, Baby down for nap, I picked up living room, drink more coffee
• 1200 pm- fed baby
• 1230 resumed cleaning: dusting, baseboards, laundry
• 130- called mom
• 200-Baby down for a nap
• 230- up from nap
• honestly, I lost track from There
• 5:45 trying to run

The rest of the night would consist of nursing, shopping online for Christmas gifts, and going to bed at about 9:00  It was not a very adventurous day.  We would usually go shopping or go downtown and walk, or walk the neighborhood.  Today we just cleaned!

I am a day late, sorry!

1. Family is generic… but it is true.  I have the best husband ever!  We have wonderful families that are so selfless.  We are both very thankful for that
2.  Health- I am able.  I am healthy and able to care for my husband and daughter.  I wake up every morning, usually have good days, and sleep well each night. I am able to run, walk my baby in the stroller, and do other exercises.  So I am thankful for that.

1.  Well, it isn’t really a Halloween craft, but I believe it was inspired by fall.. that is knitting!  I have started knitting and have done a little crocheting.  When I was about 10 my Auntie gave me a crochet needle and a spool of thread and taught me how to crochet a chain.  I do not know the fancy term to describe the type of crocheting it was/is, but I still have the original chain I made, somewhere.  I have played around with it and finally decided to invest in a few knitting tools.  So far, I have several different sized needles, circular needles of different sizes, a few spools of wool yarn, and a few knitting books.  I have started on a scarf, which actually looks really great so far, Yay!!

2.  My other favorite fall thing is sort of a decoration… PANSIES!  I LOVE PANSIES.  Next to Tulips in the Spring, pansies are my absolute favorite flower!  I suppose this is because fall is my favorite season of the year, and pansies are one of the few flowers that blooms after the frost.  I remember growing up we always had pansies; they just make a house look like a home, especially while the leaves are changing color.  I have some on my porch right now.  =)

What are your Top Two?

So, there is a blog where she posts a “Top Two Tuesday” every Tuesday and then you do the same on your own blog.  You can link up to her blog as well, so more people will come by yours (maybe).  Anyways, I thought it would be fun.  So, this week is: Favorite Places in Your Home

I would have o say my number one favorite place in our house is the living room.  This is probably because it has a working digital tv box in it (yes, we role old school style and we like it that way).  Before Lexie we never spent time in the living room.  However, now that I am at home all day, we watch tv most of the time.  (I try to do some weight lifting and stretching while I watch, but that rarely happens.) 

I don’t have a recent picture of our living room, so here is one from Christmas:

My Second favorite room: Lexie’s nursery!

 It is so pretty (although I do not have updated pictures of it either…) and relaxing.  I think her nursery motivates me to keep the rest of the house clean and semi-organized/picked up. 

Blog about your Top Two!  There is a button on my page to tell you what the “Top Two” for this week is!!

Well, fall is definitely here.  Too bad all the leaves are just drying up and falling off, most of them aren’t even changing color because it has been so dry.

Lexie and I have been enjoying most days with the windows up and the breeze blowing through the house.  She is (of course) getting so big!  I measured her this morning and she is 24″!  I am not sure about her exact weight, but I know she is at least 10 lbs because when I get on the scale with her it is 10lbs heavier.

Yesterday, she went with me to my doctor visit.  It went well (for both of us).  Of course everyone was so excited to see Lexie and could not get over all her hair.  Dr. G was just in love with her, and was so excited to see she is getting so big.  I got a good report, and he okay-ed me to continue (trying) to run.  I started back 3 weeks after the baby was born, just trying to run a little while I walked.  He kinda got on to me for not “listening” but said I was fine and could continue, but to take it easy.

Thursday J.Tom and I are taking Lexie to her school to pay our deposit which will reserve her place for Jan.  We will get to look around and meet everyone, too.  Then, Thursday night we are going to go on a date, just the two of us.  We have gone to lunch, but we haven’t had a dinner just the two of us, so that will be nice.

Lexie has started doing better at night, sometimes.  She will sleep 3-4 hours at a time, now.  She wakes up with gas pains, otherwise she would sleep longer.  We have tried everything for the gas, and nothing seems to work, so I guess it is something we just have to deal with… more her than us.  She really enjoys tummy time and like to just lay on the couch and kick her legs.  She has started to grab for things and has rolled over on her side once, but I think it was a fluke.  If she does it again, I will be convinced it was the real thing.

YAY!  We got it all figured out- we changed her formula.  I hope I am not speaking too soon, as we just did this last night.  But so far, so good.  We were doing Nestle Good Start with all this added stuff.  So, J.Tom got us some Enfamil for Gas and Fussiness- and everything is better!  No more gas pains or constipation.  Yesterday she had gas literally all day and only 1 dirty diaper.  It wasn’t until after I gave her some sugar water that she pottied and felt better.  Then we started the new formula, and all is right with the world.

She has been SO pleasant today and has slept a lot (I even got a nap for the first time in a few days).  Then, she slept from about 1:00 until 7:00am!  I know I should have woken her up to eat, but I just couldn’t bring myself to do it after so many sleepless nights, so I just pumped and went back to sleep.  =)  I had to wake her at 7:00 or she would have kept sleeping!  I guess she was exhausted from days of no sleep due to her gas pains.  She is so funny when she sleep.. see the photo.