Dear Lexie,
There are a few things you should know now, and we will discuss in greater detail later. Let me start by saying that your dad and I are very excited and nervous about your arrival. Your dad is pretty confident that we will be good parents; I am confident we will do our best-and sometimes that is going to mean screwing up. So let me go ahead now and apologize for any mistakes we make. A great character trait of your dad- he is pretty willing to admit when he is wrong or has made a mistake. A good character trait of mine- I listen. But I know we are a powerhouse together and will make a wonderful parental unit. =)
I do want to mention some things in advance that I know will happen at some point in the distant future and my plans for dealing with these situations. Disclaimer: I hold the right to change my mind and consequences/rewards in the future.
1. You are the oldest (of hopefully 3 or 4)… you hold a little more responsibility than your friends and younger siblings may. You will be the influence, ehum-POSITIVE influence- for your siblings. Unfortunately, you also set the bar for behaviors and their consequences… keep that in mind 😉 Now, I was the baby and so was your dad, but I do know the oldest is usually the instigator of all things “fun.” You will be the one who devises plans to fib about playing on slip and slides, sneak Little Debbies, run away from home when you are 8, and throw the laundry on the fan before turning it on high. You will be the ring leader of your siblings. However, I warn you there is probably nothing your dad and I, when combined experiences, have not tried or done. You won’t always get busted, but we will always find out. Have fun, just be safe and use your head (hopefully you will get your dad’s genius brain and that won’t be an issue).
2. As your parents we love you but we also have to work as a team to protect you. Sometimes that won’t seen like much fun for you…. sorry, kid.
3. If you’re anything like me, you will be running around with the boys (and your brother) in the neighborhood: playing street hockey, roller blading, building forts, playing ball, hide and seek, shooting BB guns, catching tadpoles and climbing fences and trees. Please keep in mind scars will NOT be cool or attractive when you are about 14 and are especially saddening when you are an adult.
If you are girly like your grandmother, well then God help us because I won’t know what to do with you. I mean, I know how to play Barbies and house- but that is about the extent of it. =/
4. I know you will be a daddy’s girl, because your dad is wonderful, and that is just fine. But keep in mind your mom is the best girlfriend you will ever have, and probably the only one you can truly trust with your secrets.
5. Speaking of friends-girls are MEAN. They are ruthless, jealous, devious, and if they’re that way when they are 7 they will be that way when they are 27. Guaranteed. I encourage you to write it out, all of your thoughts and fears; find someone you can confide in but not every girl that says they’re your friend, because I am sorry to say they really aren’t.
6. If your “friends” are talking about other girls behind their backs, they are doing it to you too. So don’t join them and become one of “those” girls.
7. Treat everyone like you want to be treated. I can remember a few times in school when I got wrapped up in being popular and became one of those mean girls. I have never been so ashamed of myself, and that crappy attitude didn’t last long. I watched as some of my best friends transformed into icky people I barely recognized. Please be kind to everyone and show your good Christian spirit, I promise it will make you an all together happier person.
8. Find something you love or enjoy and stick with it. Having a hobby or sport, something that belongs to you, will give you something to claim as your own. That will be important later in life.
9. Ok, for the stupid, irresponsible, dangerous stuff you will do once you are older… hrm. I am not even a mother yet and I have a built in lie detector. Yes, many a friend (or family member) has lied about this or that and I knew, but you pick your battles. (lying by omission counts!) You are my child, I love you, and your poor choices are your parents’ battles. You will screw up, that is part of life. Unfortunately, you will also be surrounded, at some point in your life, by people who are not a very good influence. I pray you will make the best choices the majority of the time, because I know we cannot watch you 24/7. I want you to be a smart, independent young woman. Just remember where you came from and where you are headed in life- you will have to live with your choices and sometimes that just down right stinks.
10. Your dad and I are both pretty “anti idiot-box” so we probably won’t waste time or money on cable or satellite tv. By the time you are big enough, they probably won’t exist in that form anyway… but just FYI.
11. Don’t believe everything you hear. Do your homework, make educated choices. The only power you will have in life is your faith, and your knowledge. The more you know, the better off you will be; don’t depend on others to educate you on your interests. Sometimes you have to be your own advocate.
12. Sometimes (well, a lot of times from about 12 yrs old to 15 yrs old) you will hate your parents. What can I say? Sometimes life is no fun, but I promise we are trying and one day you will appreciate it.
13. Oh- I almost forgot. BOYS. Well, boys are stupid and don’t have much sense until they are about 28 and even then it isn’t a guaranteed thing. We will talk a lot more about boys and dating when we get to that point, but just FYI-they aren’t worth it. 😉
A few things you should know about your dad:
He is one of the best men I have ever known. He loves Christ, his family, and helping others. He is a wonderful husband and beautiful role model. I fall in love with him more every day- he is strong, smart, and a very hard worker.
A few things you should know about me:
I am realistic and honest. My heart lies in helping children and animals. I am a little particular about things and I am sorry about that… I over plan and over analyze. But I can cook and I like to have fun, so does that count for something? =)
I know I will never be able to cover every little topic of life with you, not until it comes up anyways. But I know you are in good hands, God’s hands, and everything will work out. Remember to say your prayers and be thankful for your blessings.
I am sure there will be plenty more letters written in the future, but this is a good start. We can’t wait to meet you in the next week or so!
-Mom
I loved #4 and #7 🙂
How precious! Lexie will love this letter and especially when she grows up. She is so blessed to have you and J.Tom. Please let us know when she decides to make her appearance. Love to the 3 of youm Auntie
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