The last few weeks have been amazingly refreshing. The warm sun, buds on the trees, homeschool and life running smoothly. And then this week came, and it hit me.

I realize I have been on the brink of anxiety and frustration, letting things get out of sync again. The laundry was literally piled in 3 baskets, a dirty pile on the floor, and a load of socks and undies in the dryer. But I was exhausted and went to bed.

10:30pm and my pregnant bladder wakes me up.

11:30pm my thirsty 3 year old wakes me up

2:30am and said 3 year old has an itchy finger from some thorns he got into the afternoon before.

4:30am I am still awake, unable to go back to sleep. I am feeling anxious, nauseous for some reason, and can’t turn my brain off.

5:45am time to get up to feed baby cows

6am I am making bottles for the calves when Lady calls out- she has wet the bed and everything is soaked through… make that 5 piles of laundry.

JTom is putting his coat on to go outside; there is NO coffee made.

I start to cry. I am tired, the day hasn’t even started and I have already failed.

We get our chores done, I make his breakfast, he gets out of the shower and wraps his arms around me. “Every day won’t be like this.”

They were words that cut deep; I don’t want these days to end, but I wanted this one to be over with.

Mister is growing so fast, thinks his new shoes are just great, constantly tells me he loves me, and asks what words say; Lady is becoming a little girl (just asked for her first real Bible, takes care of other people selflessly, shares everything she has … mostly, and is more responsible than most 10 year olds); Ila is running around with her own prerogatives in her own little, bubbly-self world exploring things for the first time.

And another is on the way.

Days like today remind me that it won’t always be like this; one day the laundry will stop, one day L will change her own sheets and wash her own clothes, one day Mister will not wake me up 2 times a night to ask me to come in his room just because he can.

It was a hard morning, hard enough that we stayed home instead of going to town as planned, & read books and listened to science podcasts before laying down for naps.

It was a much needed day of grace for all of us.

But like I tell Lady, if we don’t have hard days (times, seasons, tasks, challenges), how can we learn to appreciate the good ones?

I am learning to appreciate the hard ones, too.

Disclaimer: Some links on this blog are affiliate links; when you use those links you help support my family, at no additional cost to you. Thank you!