Validation- Why You Don’t Need It

It is everywhere- parenting advice, opinions, ideas, philosophies.

  • To homeschool or not
  • To sleep train or not
  • To feed them a SAD (standard american diet) diet or not
  • To breastfeed or not
  • To give battery and flashing toys or not
  • To cloth diaper or not
  • To use essential oils or not
  • To free range or not
  • To go organic only or not
  • and the list. goes. on.

You get the point.  Everyone has an opinion, including my husband and I.

But I don’t need to make YOU feel bad about your decision, in order to validate mine.

“VALIDATE- the action of making or declaring something legally or officially acceptable.”

I am in a mommy group on FB, which is generally very supportive, and open.  The mamas in there all come from different backgrounds but we all have one thing in common: we believe sleep is healthy and important for baby, and we want what is best for our children, even when family and friends don’t understand why we make the decisions we do.

This mama posted last week about a friend commenting that (paraphrasing here): Your baby is really happy, and not to alarm you, but a baby that is happy all the time can be a sign of mental health issues.

Um- EXCUSE ME?!

First, there is no data anywhere in the world that supports that statement.

But also, the mama making this statement had a fussy child that was generally making people (his mother included) miserable at a party because he was so unsatisfied.

She was only trying to validate her child’s behavior by making a mama with a healthy, happy baby feel bad.

Y’all, that’s not okay!

First of all, not only are all children different (my son for instance was a cranky, miserable baby and toddler.  It was just his disposition), but there is no reason to make any mama question her perfectly healthy, happy baby.

People all around will say things to make you question YOUR happiness and decisions- your marriage, your relationship with God, your decision to homestead, your decision to private school your children, your decision to vaccinate or select vaccinate or not vaccinate your children, where you live, what you do for a living, what activities your kids are in.

Heck, I see people tearing others down for how they raise and train their DOGS in a LGD group.

I get it.  I know it hurts and it is frustrating when it happens- family makes snide remarks, people you love question your decisions when they have never done any research that would regard the well being of your family.

But who validates your decisions?

Not friends.

Not family.

Not co workers or people in a FB group.

Jesus.

If I know our decisions sit well with my husband, myself, and God, that is all we need.  We don’t need to answer to strangers or acquaintances.

We certainly don’t need to let words, fueled by jealousy, uncertainty, & a lack of understanding, make us doubt ourselves or what the Lord has called us to do.

Do not let the enemy work through other’s words to make you question yourself.

But who validates your decisions? Not friends. Not family. Not co workers or people in a FB group. Jesus.

Let’s each other up in Christ, support, and encourage others.

Not tear each other down to validate our own choices.

Let the Lord be your foundation, because no one’s words can move that.

 

 

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