Validation- Why You Don’t Need It

It is everywhere- parenting advice, opinions, ideas, philosophies.

  • To homeschool or not
  • To sleep train or not
  • To feed them a SAD (standard american diet) diet or not
  • To breastfeed or not
  • To give battery and flashing toys or not
  • To cloth diaper or not
  • To use essential oils or not
  • To free range or not
  • To go organic only or not
  • and the list. goes. on.

You get the point.  Everyone has an opinion, including my husband and I.

But I don’t need to make YOU feel bad about your decision, in order to validate mine.

“VALIDATE- the action of making or declaring something legally or officially acceptable.”

I am in a mommy group on FB, which is generally very supportive, and open.  The mamas in there all come from different backgrounds but we all have one thing in common: we believe sleep is healthy and important for baby, and we want what is best for our children, even when family and friends don’t understand why we make the decisions we do.

This mama posted last week about a friend commenting that (paraphrasing here): Your baby is really happy, and not to alarm you, but a baby that is happy all the time can be a sign of mental health issues.

Um- EXCUSE ME?!

First, there is no data anywhere in the world that supports that statement.

But also, the mama making this statement had a fussy child that was generally making people (his mother included) miserable at a party because he was so unsatisfied.

She was only trying to validate her child’s behavior by making a mama with a healthy, happy baby feel bad.

Y’all, that’s not okay!

First of all, not only are all children different (my son for instance was a cranky, miserable baby and toddler.  It was just his disposition), but there is no reason to make any mama question her perfectly healthy, happy baby.

People all around will say things to make you question YOUR happiness and decisions- your marriage, your relationship with God, your decision to homestead, your decision to private school your children, your decision to vaccinate or select vaccinate or not vaccinate your children, where you live, what you do for a living, what activities your kids are in.

Heck, I see people tearing others down for how they raise and train their DOGS in a LGD group.

I get it.  I know it hurts and it is frustrating when it happens- family makes snide remarks, people you love question your decisions when they have never done any research that would regard the well being of your family.

But who validates your decisions?

Not friends.

Not family.

Not co workers or people in a FB group.

Jesus.

If I know our decisions sit well with my husband, myself, and God, that is all we need.  We don’t need to answer to strangers or acquaintances.

We certainly don’t need to let words, fueled by jealousy, uncertainty, & a lack of understanding, make us doubt ourselves or what the Lord has called us to do.

Do not let the enemy work through other’s words to make you question yourself.

But who validates your decisions? Not friends. Not family. Not co workers or people in a FB group. Jesus.

Let’s each other up in Christ, support, and encourage others.

Not tear each other down to validate our own choices.

Let the Lord be your foundation, because no one’s words can move that.

 

 

Disclaimer: Some links on this blog are affiliate links; when you use those links you help support my family, at no additional cost to you.  Thank you!

The One With a Puppy {Simple Woman’s Daybook 29}

Outside my Window …
It is warm and cloudy; why is it in the 70’s in February?!  I won’t complain about the fog and early morning drizzle, we need the rain. And I won’t complain about the warmth, but I mean really?!  If this means we will have snow in May, I’d rather it be cold now!
I am thinking…
I have so much to get done this week!

I am thankful…
that we had a friend from AR come visit this weekend, that we had rain this morning, that we have a little farm, and that we added a new buddy to the farm this past week!

In the kitchen…
There is bone broth in the crock pot, eggs on the counter, and leftovers for dinner.

I am wearing…
leggings and a shirt

I am creating…
a few things in my sewing room

I am going…
to Costco and the library this week

I am wondering…
if we are going to have anymore winter between now and spring?!

I am reading…
Teaching From Rest, as recommended by so many homeschoolers … it is a good book.  Except I have already implemented most of what I am reading so far, and my train of thought is already there, so I am wishing I had picked it up at the library and not purchased it.

I am hoping…
I find more info in the book that is helpful, and not just a bunch of ideas and thoughts I already have, agree with, implement in my home. =/

I am looking forward to…
The warm week-warmth means mama and Baby can go out more (she does NOT like the cold, even bundled up, so I’ve been inside more than I’d like this winter).

I am learning…
how to work with a puppy, specifically and LGD puppy that is going to hopefully bond with and protect my chickens and family- he is NOT for playing with.  He has play time, in the evenings, but the rest of the time he is watching chickens, sleeping with chickens, and sitting with me as we learn about chickens.  The cows are too big for him to be with right now, but I wouldn’t be against adding a few calves for him to bond with soon.  =)

Around the house…
It just is.  Things are pretty clean, tidy.  I just have a ton of laundry to get through.

A favorite quote for today…
Dog best friend
One of my favorite things…

Meet Huck!  As in Huckleberry Finn.  He sure is a sweet, sensitive boy that likes adventure.  We are sure the 40 acres will be a good place for him to learn, grow, and protect.
I won’t write about how we are training him, because honestly there is a LOT that is going into it, and I don’t know if it will all be successful.  I have spoken with a consultant that has assured me Thora’s escalating resource aggression wasn’t a result of anything we did.  So I am hoping that what we do for Huck can prevent any issues and create a great guardian.  Because these kinds of dogs don’t necessarily “bond” with chickens like they will mammals, we have to do a little extra work to ensure he is okay around them.

However, so far he gets very upset when he is not in the run with the chickens.  He was raised with his parents and chickens for 14 weeks, until we got him, so he is used to them.  It is just avoiding playing with them at this point, that is important.

Huck is part Great Pyrenees, and part Anatolian Shepherd.  Anatolian Shepherds are more aggressive with predators than a Great Pyr, and are better able to take on a coyote than a GP might.  They are also more likely to stay closer to home than a GP, or so I read. So we will see how he does. =)

A few plans for the rest of the week:
Run errands, do school, get some sewing done, work with Huck, menu plan, and work around the farm in the WARMTH!  woo hoo

A peek into my day…
See Huck’s photo collage above.

Peek Into My Day {SD 29}

We did school, then went for a walk in the woods after lunch.  Aaah, fresh air, and fun!

Simple Woman {Daybook}

Beginning Our Gluten Free {GF) Journey

Well, the day has come. I’ve avoided it for a while, against my better judgement; but avoiding it seems to no longer be an option.

beginning-our-gluten-free-journey

Max came into the world with a dairy protein allergy & with his little belly all a mess. He was a pretty miserable baby, despite a few periods of happiness. In general, he cried a LOT and was uncomfortable, suffering from reflux. We searched, prayed for direction, and through amazing circumstances were able to heal his gut through a homemade baby formula. (And make a few wonderful, life long friends along the way-so many blessings.)

As he has grown older, he has suffered from a non-stop stuffy nose and allergies to his environment. His immune system tends to be much weaker than the rest of ours; he is always sick worse and longer than we are. If we have a cold for a week, he has it for 3. If we have a stomach bug for 2 days, he has it for 5. I do everything I can to keep his immune system up (probiotics, bone broth, nutritious food, no dairy because he IS allergic to that, VERY limited sugar, 90% real food diet, etc).

But the one thing I haven’t done is remove gluten from his diet. He eats an egg sandwich every morning, and usually a sandwich at lunch right now (because with a newborn and 3 other tiny humans, I don’t have time to cook 3 hot meals right now). Dinners aren’t usually very wheat-filled, unless it is homemade lasagna or something with pasta, which isn’t often. We actually don’t consume a lot of wheat anyway.

But to substitute and change the wheat we do consume intimidates me. =/

But, in July our dentist (who is a holistic practitioner) was very adamant that we get Max off gluten; he was concerned about his lack of breathing through his nose, and how it is affecting his m0uth, and could further impact his heath. I told him if he told me to do it, I would.

But then the baby came, and life IS hectic at home, and I just let it go for a bit.

Then at our doctor appointment this week, she also recommended we get him off gluten. She said that a major cause of his symptoms could be not only a gluten intolerance, but lowering the inflammation caused from the gluten could greatly help his healing, breathing, and allergies in general.

Basically if gluten causes MORE inflammation in his body, then removing it can limit the immune response he is having to environmental allergens like dust, pollen, dander, etc.

Inflammation is inflammation- regardless of the symptom it shows itself as (in this case allergies and being unable to breathe with a constant congested nose).

His lungs are clear, there was no wheezing, so she doesn’t feel like it is asthma at this time.

So, here we go- beginning this journey. If going gluten free gets him back to his normal health, then I will just learn to make our lives gluten-free! I’ve found a lot of lovely recipes that I’m going to make for him if he is allergic to gluten but I haven’t made any of them yet. There is actually a lot of great gluten free foods available at the minute and I can’t wait to try some of them out if he does test positive.

Are you gluten free in your home? Please share any/all tips and info you can! I would love to learn from you. =)

 

Disclaimer: Some links on this blog are affiliate links; when you use those links you help support my family, at no additional cost to you. Thank you!

Friday on the Farm: Canning and Harvest

canned-tomatoes

So far this year we have harvested: 14 jars of salsa, 7 jars of spicy carrot salsa, and 10 jars of plain tomatoes in their own juice, PLUS what we have enjoyed eating.  =)  We also now have more peppers in the freezer than we have beef!

We are waiting on our bean harvest to come in, and the tomatoes are still going pretty strong, especially our cherry tomatoes.

I am almost certain the baby chickens have started laying; I am trying to keep count of the big girls’ eggs so today will be the true test.  If I get 7 eggs, OR 3 brown ones I know they are laying.  So exciting!  I can’t wait to add more girls to our flock in the spring.

We are VERY ready to add goats and hogs to the farm, but with a new baby we just don’t have the time for milking and tending them right now.  So, they will wait until baby is older and I have more time.

Have you been canning and freezing for winter?

 

Disclaimer: Some links on this blog are affiliate links; when you use those links you help support my family, at no additional cost to you.  Thank you!

Friday on The Farm: The End of Summer

Friday on the Farm … it has been several weeks since I have written about the farm.

Things are pretty lively around here!  We have started back to homeschool so most of our mornings involve that.  Oh- and we have a new baby … she is 7 weeks old today!  (wow, 7 weeks have flown by!)

We also introduced 7 other babies to the farm- 7 young Khaki Campbell ducks!  Turns out 3 of the 4 are drakes, but two of those should make a good dinner one day.  Right now they are all behaving so we are going to keep ’em around a while longer.  They are all beautiful ducks though!  They really enjoy free ranging and doing their jobs- my husband saw one of them gobbling up a snake the other day, and they chase all sorts of flying bugs.  Their favorite day of the week is when we refill their little pool- they go crazy splashing and playing around.

Khaki Campbell Ducks

The calves are getting B-I-G.  Plain big.  They aren’t little babies anymore, that’s for sure.  I still call them the baby cows and they come when we call them.  They’re up to almost 5 gallons of feed a day to supplement their grazing- they eat on the pasture all day and usually go back out after they’ve been fed by us.  We are including minerals and diatomaceous earth in their feed each day.  They still love to be petted and scratched and will talk to us when we are outside.

7 month old Holstein/Angus Calves

 

We introduced the big hens to the little girls and everyone is getting along great.  They are happy in their new big coop and run.  The baby girls haven’t started laying yet, but that should happen any week now!  They’re 16 weeks old, and usually start laying between 16-24 weeks.  I am ready for more eggs!

Which reminds me, we need to get an egg basket soon.  =)

We are getting rain several times a week and have been for a while.  The grass is growing like crazy and so are the tomatoes and beans.  Our second crop of potatoes didn’t do anything; the seed potatoes we bought were super cheap and looked pretty terrible, so that’s probably why.  Our tomatoes are doing good, and we are all enjoying the black cherry heirloom tomatoes; we will have to plant 3xs as many of those next year!

I’ve made 3 batches of salsa, which we also use for rotel in chilis and soups, and have more to make! I will probably also can just plain tomatoes like I did last year.

Otherwise, we are gearing up for my favorite time of year- FALL ON THE FARM!  It doesn’t get any prettier than fall leaves after a wet, luscious August and September!

Are you ready for all things Fall?

 

 

Disclaimer: Some links on this blog are affiliate links; when you use those links you help support my family, at no additional cost to you.  Thank you!

Friday on the Farm {May 20, 2016}

So this is titles Friday on the Farm … but it is actually Saturday on the farm.

This morning was full of lots of chores- watering the meat chicks in their brooder, weeding the garden, moving the tractor coop to the backside of the fence (the big white horse fence), and prepping everything to put the meat chicks into their tractor coop. This operation is only on a very small scale, but as you can imagine, some chicken farms will have tractors from sites like fastline to keep up with the workload.

I was able to get the meat chicks all caught, put into a box (it took about 5 trips from the brooder to the coop), and unloaded into the tractor coop.

BOY were they some happy little chickens!

meat chicks in PVC tractor coop-may 2016-QuietInTheChaos.com

They are going through 5 gallons of water in about 12 hours! Hopefully that will change since they are now outside where they will get moisture from the ground, grass, air, etc. Their brooder was in the barn tack room … let me tell you that was NOT pretty and I won’t be doing that again. There just wasn’t enough airflow, even with the window, and the ammonia built up SO quickly, I couldn’t keep enough fresh bedding added to it.

The tractor coop, provided they can keep warm, will be MUCH better! They are mostly feathered out, with a few bare spots which they will likely have for some time, as the last meat chickens did. And some still have fuzzy heads… then others are completely feathered out. We will see it goes.

This afternoon after naps, we all loaded up for a trip to Heaven, e-hum, I mean Costco. After we got home the kids played a while outside, then I started my chores.

The big girls gave left me some eggs in their nest boxes. They free ranged all day, and their feeder was empty so I gave them their new feed-which they LOVE! It is a custom, soy free mix. I will give details on that via another post, but I am so thankful to have found a feed mill that makes a custom feed. And inexpensive to boot! Woo hoo! It can also be used to finish the meat chickens off the last 3+ weeks! How great is that?

Egg Chores {QuietintheChaos.com}

I took a few shots of the garden- I can’t take credit for its beauty, other than for choosing the lovely 6 seater patio set;
my husband is the gardener! He gets it tilled, planted, weeded, etc. I just help with a bit of weeding, and of course harvesting. =) The potatoes, bell peppers, and tomatoes are looking great! The asparagus has given us a large harvest this spring, and we have let some go to seed. The peas look like they need a wee bit of help, but I think that is cause we have not weeded much the last week in all this rain.

The Garden May 2016 {QuietInTheChaos.com}

The electric fence has worked out well; one of the calves got out and went straight to the garden. When the fence zapped him he didn’t bother returning. =) It also keeps Thora and Charlie from trampling through it, killing the plants, as they play and romp. The brown box there is full of marigolds my husband started from seed; we will plant them in the garden later, just for some pretty color.

We also have a smaller garden that we have not planted, but is full of strawberries … we had intentions of killing everything in that bed and planting some squash, watermelon, corn, and okra. But all the strawberries are coming in like crazy! So hopefully the hubby will choose to let those be; our oldest is allergic but so far the other two don’t show symptoms of strawberry allergies. =)

After we got the kids in bed, we looked up and saw our Great Pyrenees, Thora, herding the calves from the front pasture, back to their pasture. Apparently they have found a high spot they can easily slide under the fence. She got them all the way to their gate by the time we made it out back. Thankfully they easily went in.

calves 3.5 months old {QuietInTheChaos.com}

You can see they are gaining well! We were hoping to just turn them on grass (you know … cow-newbies and all), but because they need extra protein and carbohydrates you have to feed them feed until a certain weight, or it will stunt their growth and cause other possible problems. I am going to see if my custom chicken feed lady can do a custom cow feed, too!

They are BIG babies- I have finally gotten the big, obstinate brown one to warm up to me. Now he begs for rubs and scratches; they both like to be brushed and will take scratches anywhere you are willing to give them! That shorter black one, Ketchup, is my buddy though. He has never been scared of us and is super friendly. (Yes, I love my cows. No, it won’t be hard to send them to butcher next year to feed my family).

After that, my husband rigged up the heat lamp in the tractor coop for the meat chicks. Really they are a week or so too young to go out, so we are just praying for a good outcome. But I couldn’t handle them being in that brooder any longer! It was just too much extra work and thus wasn’t fun for me, and didn’t seem like the healthiest option for them starting out. So, he hung a heat lamp that we will keep on at night, and plug into the barn. There is also a tarp acting to protect them from wind and rain. It is supposed to be warm the next 2 weeks (80 degrees and above) but of course, rainy!

meat chicks in tractor coop May 2016 (with heat lamp) www.Quietinthechaos.com

I think he has decided to get some more metal panels and place around 3 side of the coop so we can just start brooding them in the coop and no need to worry about wind/rain/etc.

My new laying chicks don’t even have a blog post yet! Aaaah! They’re already 3 weeks old, and feathering out nicely. We lost 2 of them-1 barred rock, and 1 rhode island red, right after they arrived. I quickly moved them into the garage where I could better control the airflow and temperature-they are brooding in a big (empty) metal water tank. They have done much better ever since. We have not been handling them very much, but starting this next week I think we will- I just didn’t want to stress them and lose anymore babies. But they seem more sturdy now, and they need to start earning their names!

So, that is pretty much it for today. This week J.Tom cut the yard and my walking path around the pasture. Gotta get back to regularly exercising before it is time to have this baby! (8 more weeks til due date!) I worked on getting what seemed like 25 loads of laundry done- Oh my goodness I am ready for sunshine again- I need my clothes line back! It makes things so much simpler.

The pond is full, with spring rain! {QuietintheChaos.com}

Thanks to the tons and tons of spring rain, we have a full pond, blooming flowers, growing garden, and happy animals. So, it has been a beautiful, blessed week on the farm!

Disclaimer: Some links on this blog are affiliate links; when you use those links you help support my family, at no additional cost to you. Thank you!

All Around the Home and Homestead Linkup {Bi Weekly Blog Party!}

All Around the Home and Homestead Linkup

You may know, in the fall of last year we moved to our dream land – a 40 acre homestead. Whilst our friends were contacting the realtors Greensboro is home to looking for their perfect city house, we were looking for a house out in the country with some land so we could fulfill our dreams of owning a homestead. It has been such a blessing to our family in SO many ways. We didn’t really need to do many renovations either. We used majesticdesigns.co.uk to design some new windows and repainted but other than that, everything else was in pretty good shape. We are not a “fast paced, go-go-go” family; we continue to enjoy weekly activities, outings, and camping but running the roads and being gone all the time is not for us. Our land, woods, and pond are just perfect for our family’s personality.

This spring my husband and I sat down to discuss what direction we wanted to go with our farm- were we out to make money right away by producing vegetables and meat, or did we want to provide for our family first and go from there?

We decided that during this season we need to focus on feeding our family (and perhaps selling extra) while learning all we can by getting hands on experience. Once our children are older and can help more (and I am less busy with babies), we will work on producing food/products to sell.

So, the farm is officially working on being a homestead- raising and producing our own beef, chicken, eggs, and vegetables as much as possible to support our family. Among these things, we have fruit trees growing, and dreams of heifer cow, more baby cows, and a few dairy goats in the pastures. We’re also figuring out the off grid heating solutions and we’ve just found our fresh water supply.

We use our woods to hunt wild game, chop fire wood, and of course to play and learn for our homeschool!

Speaking of homeschool, homesteading and homeschool often go hand in hand, but certainly do not have to. Anyone can homeschool, and anyone can homestead! But both are extra fun when combined.

I am always trying new recipes (many, many fails lately…), tweaking recipes for our children’s dairy allergies, learning something new about the garden (my husband’s the expert there), embarking on a new animal adventure (my favorite part), or starting a home or sewing project. I try to stay focused on one thing at a time, but honestly it can be tough!

Homeschool will wrap up here in about 3-4 weeks, we are going to celebrate for a few days and then I will begin my pre-baby projects (she is due in July) for the next month or two.

If you love homemaking, whether you’re great at it or a bit clumsy with it as I am, or homesteading I encourage you to come here every 2 weeks and link up with us! Don’t blog? Then check out the links posted below from other homemakers and homesteaders!

We will meet back here to link up about every two weeks (that’s our goal) for another post, and to add link ups!

Faithful Homestead